Soft Power & BOoks

January 2026

   I have been thinking a lot lately about how much I love books.
   Which I'm sure is no surprise to you pen pal, since I do talk about books quite a lot. Most of my time these days is heavily dedicated to them in some way or another. I’m either working on my own book, the chapter books or the picture books. Or I’m working on a book for someone else, doing a read for a friend or a cover for a client or illustrations for a client. Or I’m working at the used and new bookstore in town, talking to customers about what we’ve been reading lately. Or… I’m reading.
   I have never counted how many books I read in a year before. I know that 2025 was a very reading heavy year. I managed 55 books (I read a few more after sending my last newsletter), and that’s a lot! I’m sure I was reading only 12 a year or less for most of my life. Especially when I was in school still.
   It’s hard to imagine that for more than a third of my life I really was not that interested in reading, and I didn’t start branching out of my silly little YA Fantasy corner until I was nearly 30. I didn’t decide to focus my energy on storytelling and illustrating until 2018. It’s amazing how something can go from being on the sidelines to being your whole world!
   I remember distinctly the first books that made me actually want to read. (Granted, my dad read the Lord of the Rings aloud to my brother and I at least twice in my childhood, but I didn’t totally pay attention most of the time.) In grade school my classroom had a tiny book a bout the life of Annie Oakley, and for some reason I read that repeatedly. That’s the only book I remember caring about. I was entirely disinterested until I was nearly 12, and I was give two Advance Reader Copies by my grandmother. One was book 2 in the original Warrior Cats series by Erin Hunter, and the other was The Treekeepers by Susan McGee Britton. I usually didn’t even read the books I was given, but for some reason this time I did, and I think it was because of the cover art. I really, really liked both—both the cover art and the story within. I then was recommended the Black Cauldron series by my older brother and I DEVOURED it.
   And then the doors opened to me and I actually wanted to read.
   I got lost in the weeds a bit with my teenage years, falling prey to the Twilight fandom. But I kept my head above water with other gems like Gunnerkrigg Court, all the Tamora Pierce books, finding Jane Austen charming, and eventually creeping farther and farther afield.
   I still prefer to read fantasy and scifi, but I’ve read a much wider range than ever before. Books are just amazing. They can take you places and teach you things and hold you safely when the world is too much but also take you out into it at the same time. They can be sacred or ridiculous. Humans can do a lot of weird and uncool stuff but MAN did we get it right with books. And books lead to libraries! And how magical and amazing are libraries, am I right?

 Well, anyway. All that to say I’ve got a BOOK RELEASE COMING UP SOON! More of a re-release. A project I didn't plan on starting and COMPLETING in 2025, but hey, when inspiration strikes, I go with the flow! In about two months, I have updated Be Kind to Me to match my current skill as an artist, and I will finally have it available, cheaper and easier, through Barnes & Noble! No more overpriced copies only on Etsy or at shows, oh no. It will even be for sale at my local bookstore.
   Expect a launch email coming soon!
   I have been wracking my brain for how I can offer some kind of bonus to all those who’ve already purchased the book. I’m really sorry to say I can’t think of a good way to do anything, other than to say THANK YOU and I hope you’ve enjoyed it and I hope you aren’t too mad at me for not just making it really good to begin with. It was my first ever self published book and I went small on purpose. I have grown, and the new Be Kind to Me is a beautiful reflection of that.

   I recently learned that this is a real thing that your brain really will do to you. We are wired to seek out what is familiar, and to associate that with “normal” and “safe” even if what you’ve lived with most of your life is a house on fire. I’d heard of this and thought it sounded ridiculous, even performative. Surely these people know better and are just… looking for attention or something. They’re somehow doing it on purpose. Right? ...Right?
   My personal never ending demon has been my self hatred. Its been present and noisy and non stop since I was very little. It put me in a never ending state of distress and freeze and anxiety.
   Thanks to LOTS of teachers and hard work and hard lessons and therapy and brainspotting, I don’t feel that way so much anymore. In fact I feel a significant amount of affection and care towards myself.
   This is VERY new for me, like, it really shifted in early December. It is almost surreal.
   So surreal, in fact, that I found myself struggling with *intrusive thoughts* almost immediately after. A big thing I’d been concerned about finally worked out, and I was suddenly faced with NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. Everything going on (in my immediate personal circle) was quite manageable or even just good. I felt calm and grounded and safe and cool with myself and… that was the most alien feeling to my nervous system. Still IS alien. So what did it do? It started reaching for SOMETHING, ANYTHING to freak out about. Imagining accidentally cutting my fingers off with scissors, telling me my electric blanket was going to electrocute me, fixating on scary news stories about people getting attacked and telling me to be hyperventilate at bedtime, giving me the stomach-drop sensation, especially when I was trying to eat.
   When I described this to my therapist she actually laughed. “I’m not surprised,” she said. “You’ve been so disregulated your whole life that being regulated too weird.” She assured me it will level out, and the grounded safe feeling will become normal to me and my body won’t chase the high of anxiety to feel the old “normal” again. I just have to give it time, and in the meantime make comics about the old me so I can meet its hunger for PANIC with humor and compassion.
   I am grateful for my growth, but man, human beings are strange indeed.

   My word for the year finally came to me. I know it’s the trendy thing to do right now, to pick a word that’s your mantra or theme for the year. I wasn’t going to bother, but I had one jump out at me. I’ve been OBSESSED with the music of Doe Paoro, and one of her albums is titled Soft Power. I like that concept a lot. To me, that means being like a cat. Obviously literally soft. But also cuddly, sweet, patient, all the wonderful soft things cats are. But cats are also deadly. They are the models of boundaries. They tolerate no nonsense. That’s the energy I want to bring into 2026. Not to be overbearing and domineering with power, but soft, willing to stand up for myself, independent but loving. Soft power.

 Are you taking my advice from my last newsletter? Are you giving yourself a time of rest? I hope that you are. I hope you’re letting winter be winter (if you’re a northern hemisphere dweller like myself) and that you are allowing for as much hibernation as you can get away with in this crazy western capitalist culture we live in. (And don’t forget, if you didn’t get a chance to read the last newsletter, you can find it on my website in the blog section.)
   I recommended reading lots of books and playing Animal Crossing.
 
Hoping you are well and warm,
Lara Jean