 There is a wonderful much repeated quote from J R R Tolkien: “Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisoned by the enemy, don’t we consider it his duty to escape? … If we value the freedom of mind and soul, if we’re partisans of liberty, then it is our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us we we can!” Sometimes real life can start to feel like the enemy. The difference between avoiding and resting is a truly subtle thing. We are just animals, barely different from trees. We need periods of rest, over and over in cycles that must be honored. These are the small cycles of hungry and full, awake and asleep, but also the larger cycles of productive, driven, focused, followed by rest, recovery, dreaming. Like winter and summer. Over and over. Escape can be avoidance, yes. It can consume and take over and make one incapable of leaving one’s head. But it can also be used as a much needed and much deserved rest. We all require and are allowed some escape, some rest, so we can return refreshed to the real world. Storytelling is such a beautiful middle ground between full escape, rest, and this subtle healing that can sneak in through identifying with the characters and seeing their struggles and their growth. The best fantasies have parallels to the real world. They teach us about the familiar by making it unfamiliar. We can dive into a place that seems just different enough to let us breathe while still showing us ways to interact with our world that are just a little bit kinder. With that in mind, let’s talk about books. I’ve been a long time lover of classic high fantasy, as is most likely evident from my art. But I’ve been proudly branching out into other genres over the past few years (it was about dang time) and I’m constantly amazed by the variety and originality and depth of stories there are to be found in the world. So many I have yet to discover! My To Read pile is always teetering taller and taller and I could not be happier. If you’re looking for a cozy read, I’ve got suggestions. Something edgy and unique and maybe a little gritty and dark? I have some ideas! Are you more of a practical reader, after some science and some self exploration? That’s my jam too. My tastes may not overlap with yours, but in case they do, I’ve collected some suggested reading. Now more than ever we all deserve to honor our cycles and bring in some restorative rest. Like curling up with a good book.  Without further ado, some lovely books you may enjoy:
(*Please note I have done my best to speel everyonys name coorectly but I might have mayde a few mystakesssss) Cozy Reads:
Cozy Graphic Novels:
Not So Cozy Excellent Fantasy:
Graphic Novels:
Self Exploration/Philosophy:
Children’s Books: If you want some very pretty art to look at, I’ve got you.
One final note, now is also an excellent time to put effort into supporting physical media. What do I mean by that? Make use of non-streaming services for consuming books, music, and movies and shows. This can be either with a library or by building your personal dragon hoard of shiny and beloved things. We are in an era fraught with the threat of media erasure, and the best way to protect things from being edited into oblivion or flat out burned is to make sure there are copies that exist in your own home, in your own hands, in libraries, in secret cupboards and locked chests and under floorboards if need be. And this is a really fun way to fight, is it not? Because of libraries, you don’t even have to spend money! Just using your library makes them more likely to stay open and able to provide free computer access, free college classes, free books, free movies, free music, free tutoring, free tax filing, etc. Yes, libraries really do all that and more. Are you more of an audiobook consumer? That’s not a problem. If you’re able, consider spending a day wandering the library, maybe get some ideas for future audio book rentals, and most importantly take books off the shelves and put them onto the put-backs cart. This seemingly annoying act actually helps libraries “numbers” and gives them proof they need funding. People are here! People are looking at books! Librarians are needed! You do also support them by using apps like Libby to rent audiobooks and movies and music! You can also consider, if financially able, joining the trend of acquiring trophies when you finish an audiobook you adored. Buy the most beautiful physical copy of the book and put it in a glass case to show off. When guests arrive, point to it like a tweed dressed British aristocrat who hunts for sport would point to the hapless giraffe in his entryway and say: “I listened to all 62 hours of this Brandon Sanderson novel, took me three whole days with no sleep to slay the beast, and I bet I could take out an intruder with that beautiful brick, what ho old chap. Anyone for tea?” Some studios have threatened to stop producing movies on disc altogether. This allows them to indefinitely charge you, month after month, to watch whatever they choose. And it creates an impassable paywall for anyone unable to afford streaming services. If there are not physical copies, they can’t be donated to a library for those less financially blessed to enjoy. Gross, right? And streaming services are constantly removing--and even modifying old movies to fit whatever narrative they wish to. But a hard copy in your home bypasses all this, and you can share it with friends! Watch it even when the internet is down! Skip the commercials! Oh, the old fashioned joy of it all. So please, in whatever way you are able, support physical media. For better or for worse, we currently live in a world where how we spend our money holds the most power. Choose to spend wisely, my friends. Buy yourself a book. With paper. Till next time, hoping you are well and warm and enjoying a good book, Lara Jean
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Somewhere between immeasurable grief and just one pull up. January was heavy, heavy, heavy. I have been unable to hold my grief. It has come spilling out of me in ugly, dysregulated bursts. It has shown up with numbness, the desperation to bury myself somewhere nothing can find me. Many tears. So much despair. I feel grief for the people who are afraid for their rights. I feel grief for the people who are so afraid of the world that they are taking away the uniqueness and autonomy of others. I feel grief at the state of the environment, the seemingly never ending calamities that we face that we ourselves have caused. I feel grief for the things I can’t do anything about, all the people and animals I can’t give a safe home to, all the hurts far beyond my reach. I feel grief that I put time and effort into finding a following on instagram, only to have that platform turn into a mess that feeds my creations to AI so that a computer can make art for me. I feel grief for the people we thought we could trust and admire being exposed as flawed and harmful and human. I feel grief that the organic produce I want but struggle to afford to buy comes in a plastic bag. I feel grief for the tiny ladybug that doesn’t know it’s invasive, didn’t come here on purpose or by choice, and didn’t know that trying to winter in my house would lead to its death. I feel grief that no doubt many people would look at this list and scoff and say I’m too sensitive, too emotional, irrational. No person could really feel all that. What’s the point? It is beyond overwhelming.  I find myself drawing big fey creatures holding tiny vulnerable sprouts. They are tender and earthy, and they seem to whisper to the seedling “It will be okay, I’ve got you.” Oh how I want to shed my human skin and become something fey, something integrated with nature, something capable of flitting in and out of reality, going anywhere I want to go. Existing and doing no harm. A creature with magic in its touch. Magic that heals. Magic that renews. I would spend my days planting trees and dancing. …Possibly incessantly pinching and stealing the socks of those who hold great power and choose to use it for harm. How do I get just unhinged enough to start having rapturous visions, I wonder? I want an all knowing, truly all loving mystical god to come shimmying down a silver pole into my studio, blow me a kiss and a wink, bells, whistles, a dance number and a light show. They would tell me “I have a plan, I am in control, I am going to make it all fair and good and okay. I’ll make it so easy and obvious for you, you just keep doing you baby girl. I love you, you’re good, keep painting and don’t worry about a thing.” This god is Tyler Gaca in this vision, ideally. No matter how distraught I get, I wait and wait and it does not happen. The only one here is me. And oh do I feel small, small, small. I do not feel like a fey creature at all. I feel like the seedling, barely beginning, breakable at the slightest touch. How do I make change when I am so very, very small? When I’m not having a meltdown, I reach for the light. I open my little leaves to older and wiser voices. “No one has ever healed through shame.” I want to give in to the immense guilt and shame I feel at just… being a human. Being a part of the problem. But that does not in any way motivate me to unfuck myself. If I believe humans are inherently evil and The Problem, then I get to do nothing, give up, stay lazy. Wilt. Wither. Rot. Just as hurt people will hurt people, so too will healed people heal other people, or so I have been told. Doing work to heal yourself serves everyone, the whole. And with this quote taped on every wall so I see it over and over, written on my forehead, tattooed on my eyeballs, I pick up one tiny thing. One small thing. And I do my best to give it compassion, I give it love. Even when the only tiny little thing I feel able to hold right now is just me. Things that I have been reading and listening to that are helping me learn, cope, and hope:
I’m learning to do pull ups. I can’t even do one. How am I supposed to scale the walls and save the distressed if I can’t do a pull up??? So… I’m trying. I have pull up bands. I strain and grunt and shout “YES I CAN!” to my cats who lazily stare at me from the sunshine on the floor, wondering what their nutty darling human is up to now. I trust that even though I can’t yet, not yet, in time, by inches, bit by bit, some day, I will. (I follow Nourish Move Love for free at home workouts, because seriously, who the heck has enough self confidence and motivation to work out in public?) If you found yourself asking "What could possibly be the point of feeling all that grief?" to you I would gently say: If you're not feeling grief, then you aren't seeing the hurt we are causing. The point is that if we don't see, we can't admit we need to change. We stay numb, we keep performing actions and repeating cycles that hurt others. We have to feel it to see the harm we do. And if we don't find ways to then comfort that grief, we can never become motivated to do something about the things that make us so immeasurably sad. The grief is part of the process. A stepping stone to healing and growing. I think it is not ridiculous at all to be an emotional wreck over the bad in the world. I think maybe my grief is going to lead me to places where I make a difference. For me and for you. I hope you are well. I hope you are warm. I hope you are supported and safe and open to trying to do the work of facing the shadows, facing your own shadow, and turning back to the light over and over and over again. And I dare to hope that maybe my words and my art can help. Lara Jean  P.S. In case anyone is unfamiliar with what’s happened with Instagram and Facebook, they state openly in their user agreement that they have full rights to whatever you post, and they use any images/videos/words posted to train AI. That means they have full rights to my art if I share it there, and they will feed it to AI so that a machine can make copies. This is why most creators are trying to migrate to other apps, and encourage people to do things like sign up for newsletters. I am now pushing my following to Bluesky, tumblr, Cara, and my newsletter.
If you're reading this, THANK YOU for taking the time not only to support me by being here, but also for reading this far! You’re amazing. Your effort and interest and care are so needed and so valuable. Keep it up. If you are wanting prints of any of the new art I've shared in this blog, you can find all of them on my Etsy shop! US shipping is free. I have my kids books in stock there as well. Your support helps me make more art! Also a reminder that if you want letters just like this one delivered right to your email, you can subscribe to my newsletter. Just go to my Commissions page! You can find links to ALL my little internet homes right here! Short and snappy:
I live in Tennessee! Moved here two years ago now! It's been an adventure! I love caves and hate ticks. I am back to full time artist! I also am certified to do reiki and occasionally do that, when anyone is interested. I'm pushing for being a proper published author/illustrator. Married to my high-school sweetheart, we have two fur babies, Tybalt the beautiful idiot and Mimsy the demonic warrior princess (cats). I still have anxiety and the sads sometimes, but this crazy thing happens and as you get older you grow and get marginally better at dealing with them. Also life is cyclical and there are always ups and downs. Grateful to currently be in an up! Hobbies are still writing, reading, gaming, drawing, film/tv, podcasts, hiking, swimming, gardening, and now weight lifting. We change, but we also stay the same. That's it! Please subscribe to my newsletter to stay on top of where I'm at and what I'm up to, because I know nobody visits my website regularly and social media has become a monstrosity. or |
AuthorI'm Lara, illustrator and writer behind Lara Jean Doodles! Archives
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