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Lara's Blog:
Things I've Learned and Things I Think About and Things I Love!

An Interview with Rebekah Reese on the Book Birthday of Penny and the Pocket Dragon!

4/5/2025

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 If you've been reading my newsletters this year, you already know a bit about my history with Rebekah. For any newcomers, fear not, I'm happy to repeat! I had the great fortune of meeting Rebekah in college in 2011ish in Michigan. She was in my ceramics class and I thought she was so cool I actually invited myself to her house, which as the mortifyingly shy introvert I was at the time, should tell you everything you need to know about how cool I really thought she was.
   And still do.
   More than 10 years later (how???) we are writing buddies and art buddies. I have her to thank for the chapter books I've completed. Every artist deserved a Rebekah in their life; she is my beta reader, my hype groupie, an honest and helpful critic, and a sympathetic ear when I'm overwhelmed. And on top of all this she manages a beautiful circus of a household full of fantastically feral children, coaches other writers, weaves baskets, grows a massive garden, makes bread, creates tiny ceramic snails, and writes and illustrates her own work, including graphic novels. (HOW???)
   When I talk about Penny I tell people I begged/insisted she let me illustrate it, and she says that she was the one insisting, so it was a magnificently mutual decision that I needed to make art for this adorable story. Our inner middleschoolers who just wanted to publish a book with a friend are giddy and gleeful to present to you our first collaboration.
   THAT YOU CAN BUY NOW, TODAY, AND SHOULD!

   So here are the questions I had for Rebekah! I definitely recommend you give her a follow, check out her work, and send her so much admiration and support. She deserves it all.
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1. How long have you been writing and drawing? When did you know you wanted to make a go at it professionally?
   Ah, let's see, a long time. One time I turned in a math test with zero questions answered and the page full of squids. I failed that test. And that class. But they were good squids. So I'm not sure I ever really sat down and decided I wanted to make a go at it professionally but math sure wasn't going to be an option. 

2. What's your favorite art medium? Or do you prefer writing to arting?
   I think my favorite medium is story and I'm just trying to learn how to use words or pictures well enough to tell them. I would prefer to be able to draw 1000x faster than is humanly possible so every story I come up with could be a graphic novel. Alas I'm very slow. 

3. Tell us about Penny!!!
   Penny! Penny and the Pocket Dragon is a story I told my daughter. It's about a little girl who ends up with a very small (and very grumpy) dragon. It's a goofy fairytale with too much alliteration. There were multiple versions of it over the years and eventually I wrote one of them down. When it was finished it was clear that I'd actually written a story that existed in YOUR world of adorable mythical creatures and that you needed to illustrate it. So I begged you and you said yes and we lived happily ever after. 

4. Tell us about The Girl the Ghost and the Giant!
   The Girl the Ghost and the Giant is the first story I turned into an actual book. It's a folk tale about a giant who has to be killed to stop a harsh winter, but of course the legends are never quite right about the monsters, are they? It's strange, because when you publish you're sort of putting out a younger version of yourself, because usually there are several years between when you write the thing and when people read it. So it very much feels like letting people read my middle-school journal. My art and writing have changed a lot since then but I also wouldn't be the same person if I hadn't written that book. 

5. What project can we look forward to from you next?
   Besides Penny and the Pocket Dragon? What more do you want than tiny dragons in glass jars! Let's see, I have a really short book about Michigan salamanders that is *mostly* done. I like salamanders. I'm working on a comic about an Indian Boarding school in Michigan that I'm really proud of.  And eventually I'll be publishing the middle grade series that I've been working on for forever. That's probably the one I'm the most excited about. It's a series about a kid named Toby who's family are cryptid conservationists. So his family travels the world taking care of monsters. There's lots of sibling drama and awkward teenagers and it's my favorite thing I've written. But boy do series take a long time! 

6. Your top five favorite books! If you can. An impossible question, I know.
   That... is a rude question. only five?! Okay... I think I'll go for the top ones that have been the most influential, in no particular order. 

  • 1. The Magicians Nephew by CS Lewis. This one really kicked the imagination into high gear as a kid. It's also dark and creepy and magical which is everything I want in a book. 
  • 2. Till We Have Faces, also by Lewis. I remember learning as a kid that the Narnia series were the only books for children that Lewis wrote and being furious with him. How dare he write books for adults! Then I grew up and read this book and forgave him. I read this book every few years. It's a retelling of the story of Cupid and Psyche and it somehow cuts to the core of what it means to be human. 
  • 3. Howl's moving castle by Dianna Wynne Jones. I distinctly remember putting that book down and deciding I wanted to write stories. 
  • 4. Mighty Jack by Ben Hatke, really any of his graphic novels.. I feel like Ben taught me how to make comics from these books. His way of showing characters emotions with body language, not just facial expression has been so formative for me. Whenever I get stuck with a drawing I flip through one of his books and find a similar posture to unstick myself. 
  • 5. Buzzing by Samuel Sattin and Rhy Hickman. This is a graphic novel I think everyone should read. It's not only a wonderful story, but it does such a good job showing what intrusive thoughts feel like. Even though I don't have OCD like the character in this book, I struggle with intrusive thoughts from anxiety, and this book made me feel really seen. The illustrations are also fantastic. 
7. What fictional character do you identify with most?
   Fictional character I most identify with... hum. That's a great questions. Probably Jill from the Silver Chair. I'd risk getting eaten by giants for a hot bath. 

8. A piece of advice for aspiring writers and artists?
   Keep going! Spend more time working on your story than planning or talking about it. Take your story seriously enough you finish it, but not so seriously you can't take constructive criticism to make it better. 


9. If you could be a salamander, which kind would you be?
   I would be a cave salamander because it's quiet and then I'd be bright orange with spots.

10. Where can we follow you? (Below are links to her website and instagram!)
   You can follow me into a swamp. Or on Instagram and Bluesky.

Bonus question: Will you let me illustrate another book of yours, please? (Correct answer: Yes.)
Yes, but after you publish at least Faun 1. ​


Buy Penny
Rebekah on Instagram
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Let's Talk About Books

3/31/2025

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   There is a wonderful much repeated quote from J R R Tolkien: “Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisoned by the enemy, don’t we consider it his duty to escape? … If we value the freedom of mind and soul, if we’re partisans of liberty, then it is our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us we we can!”
   Sometimes real life can start to feel like the enemy. The difference between avoiding and resting is a truly subtle thing. We are just animals, barely different from trees. We need periods of rest, over and over in cycles that must be honored. These are the small cycles of hungry and full, awake and asleep, but also the larger cycles of productive, driven, focused, followed by rest, recovery, dreaming. Like winter and summer. Over and over.
   Escape can be avoidance, yes. It can consume and take over and make one incapable of leaving one’s head. But it can also be used as a much needed and much deserved rest. We all require and are allowed some escape, some rest, so we can return refreshed to the real world.
   Storytelling is such a beautiful middle ground between full escape, rest, and this subtle healing that can sneak in through identifying with the characters and seeing their struggles and their growth. The best fantasies have parallels to the real world. They teach us about the familiar by making it unfamiliar. We can dive into a place that seems just different enough to let us breathe while still showing us ways to interact with our world that are just a little bit kinder.
   With that in mind, let’s talk about books.
   I’ve been a long time lover of classic high fantasy, as is most likely evident from my art. But I’ve been proudly branching out into other genres over the past few years (it was about dang time) and I’m constantly amazed by the variety and originality and depth of stories there are to be found in the world. So many I have yet to discover! My To Read pile is always teetering taller and taller and I could not be happier.
   If you’re looking for a cozy read, I’ve got suggestions. Something edgy and unique and maybe a little gritty and dark? I have some ideas! Are you more of a practical reader, after some science and some self exploration? That’s my jam too. My tastes may not overlap with yours, but in case they do, I’ve collected some suggested reading. Now more than ever we all deserve to honor our cycles and bring in some restorative rest. Like curling up with a good book.
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Without further ado, some lovely books you may enjoy:
(*Please note I have done my best to speel everyonys name coorectly but I might have mayde a few mystakesssss)



Cozy Reads:
  • House of Many Ways by Dianne Wynne Jones: This is a part of the Howl’s Moving Castle series, and it is my personal favorite. You don’t have to have read the others to enjoy it. Jones writes brilliant sparkling fantasy with so much humor and heart and snark.
  • The Reluctant Heiress Eva Ibbotson: If you want a sickeningly wholesome historical romance (not steamy, the spice level of a vanilla bean) Eva Ibbotson is your gal. She wrote 4 or 5 young adult novels, all fabulously light and joyful and full of basic girl meets boy romance. Charming. Delightful. Adorable.
  • The Wee Free Men (Tiffany Aching Series) by Terry Pratchett: I think Terry Pratchett is just wonderful. You don’t have to start at the beginning of his full Discworld series either, he’s willing to bring you along for a riotous ride no matter what, and Tiffany gets her own contained series. I’m currently reading Guards! Guards! and it’s quickly becoming my absolute favorite. I’ve never read the other Color of Magic books, but if you need a read that will make you giggle, go for Terry.
  • Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell: For the lonely little fanfic writing college girl that I was, this book was a balm. Healing. Just adorable and sweet. Romance and compassion and love for all the introverts of the world.
  • The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst: This one has been very popular, so you’ve probably seen it around. The cover art is by Lulu Chen, an illustrator and animator who made me literally die when she followed me on social media. The book itself is cozy and cute.
  • Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree: Another popular one. Fan of D&D universe but also of not having to read about war and the world ending? This is the book for you.
  • Frog and Toad by Arnold Lobel: I know what you’re thinking—"I am too old for this." But you are not. You are allowed to slow down and enjoy a book with pictures. You are allowed to curl up with a book that has only one sentence per page and just relax and smile as Toad hides in bed from the cold winter. It’s okay. You can do it.
  • The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame: See above argument. It’s woodland animals going about their posh, cozy little lives. It’s wholesome. It’s old fashioned. It’s a fresh loaf of homemade bread.
  • Whinnie the Pooh by A A Milne: Also, see above. Childhood nostalgia.
  • Skunk and Badger by Amy Timberlake illustrated by Jon Kalssen: Yes, the hat kids book guy. You know the one. It's another young reader chapter book that will delight and comfort and bring smiles. Just read it.
  • Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen: Not an Austen fan? Not a problem. Don’t read this one. However if you love giggling at the obsession with classic gothic romance, get enjoyment out of subtle sarcasm and the good old days of muslin and the pump room that wasn’t actually anything to do with babies, then this is the shortest and my personal favorite of Austen’s novels.
  • The Gurnsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows: Yes there’s a Netflix movie! No, it doesn’t do it justice (no matter how lovely Lily James is, my gosh). It’s written in the form of letters, and each voice is so unique. The delicate unfolding of the full tale is so beautifully done. And it celebrates the way books can carry us through the hardest of times. Some good restoring faith in humanity stuff right here. Also good reminder that Nazis and fascism kinda suck *ahem*.
  • Mystic and Rider by Sharon Shinn: First of the Twelve Houses series, this is probably my favorite cozy "epic" fantasy. Yes, they’re saving the kingdom. But everyone is so wholesome, you know it will all be okay, and Shinn just writes in a way that is so… cozy, for lack of a better word. Just pure old fashioned fantasy with magic and some lovey romance thrown in.
  • Just Stab Me Now by Jill Bearup: Sarcastic and fun and loving teasing for anyone who loves a trope-y romance, and or anyone who is a writer and struggles with their own characters. It's just fun.
  • Penny and the Pocket Dragon by Rebekah Reese (I had to): You can get this one April of this year and it will make you want cinnamon rolls and a pet dragon. I drew all the pictures for it, so… there’s that, too.


Cozy Graphic Novels:
  • Lightfall by Tim Probert: A stunningly illustrated graphic novel that has the most unique visual presentation of anxiety. A lovely world, lovable characters, and no doubt a happy ending (series ongoing). So many little nods to all the other fantasy worlds we love, Ghibli and Dark Crystal and the Black Cauldron...
  • Nimona by N. Stevenson: Yes there’s a Netflix movie. NO, it does not even remotely do the comic justice. It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. It will be your favorite graphic novel. Just read it.
  • Hilda by Luke Pearson: Yes it’s a Netflix series! Yes, the series is adorable and beautiful and excellent. And so are the graphic novels. A wonderful fantasy world to escape to, full of heart and humor.
  • The Tea Dragon Society by K. O’Neil: The art. The happy cozy vibes. Dragons. Tea.

Not So Cozy Excellent Fantasy:
  • Gideon the Ninth by Tamsin Muir: Necromancers in space. You have to buy into not knowing what’s going on, because you’re not supposed to. There’s sarcasm. Suspense. Creepy vibes. You will get angry at your husband when he tries to talk to you when you’re reading a very intense part. Cliff hangers. (Series ongoing, final book expected this year???)
  • A Deadly Education by Naomi Novick: If Hogwarts wanted to murder its students. Creepy, incredibly unique and wonderful world, badass lady main character, just awesome. Also edge of your seat. Finished 3 book series! Binge themmm.
  • Leech by Hiron Ennis: Classic gothic fiction meets sci-fi post apocalypse and don’t read the back just read the book. Go in blind. Warning: main character is a doctor, some descriptions of body stuff is a bit graphic. This is technically a horror, but I'm a right proper pansy and I loved it.
  • The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill: A middle grade fantasy that was just a delight. Magic and storytelling at its finest. Lyrical and lovely.
  • The Wayfarers series by Becky Chambers: I was not a fan of sci-fi until I read these books. Oh my goodness did she blow me away. You can read just two of them and get the best of it: Long Way to a Small Angry Planet, and A Closed and Common Orbit are the best two. Though sci-fi, it does what the best books always do: explores what makes us human.
  • Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr: Though not the most spectacular writing, this young adult series does edgy dark fairy stuff in a truly fantastic way. Creepy fairy king, modern day girl, and no toxic creepy relationships made to seem desirable (we're looking at you, Twilight). My favorite version of fairies, actually!
  • Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Lani Taylor: A great sweeping fantasy series, 3 books, all very good!!! Another young adult series that is not painfully campy and full of cringey toxic messaging.
  • Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater: Want an actually good young adult series about modern day werewolves? This is the series, this is the one to read. Beautifully written and grounded in reality. Some romance, some suspense, some very well rounded characters.
  • Archangel by Sharon Shinn: Yes, more Shinn! This is her sci-fi series, a bit more dark. But still always a safe ending. A fun a funky take on angels and a sci-fi world! Shinn always does romance and wholesome characters. Safe and easy reads, while still intriguing.
  • The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V E Schwab: My first and thus far only Schwab book, and it’s incredible. The writing is so good and the idea is such a wonderful exploration of being human. Wow. I can’t wait to read another book by this author.
  • The Lives of Puppets by TJ Klune: He's a popular author right now, and I think it's deserved. Well written and unique, this one is the only of his I've read so far, and it's a sci-fi retelling of Pinocchio. Absolutely charming, sometimes intense.


Graphic Novels:
  • Gunnerkrigg Court by Thomas Siddell: Is free to read online??? But also available in print, and is hands down my favorite series ever. The most unique and beautiful world, wonderful characters, an amazing journey of artistic growth right before your eyes. Often funny, frequently dark and gripping, so much myth and rich fantasy. Just go read it.
  • The Ancient Magus’ Bride by Kore Yamazaki: A manga! A manga! Japanese take on Celtic fairy world… it’s just fun. Dark, weird, but also cottagecore? It’s a good one folks.
  • Gwelf by Larry MacDougall: More of an illustrated guide, it’s Redwall all grown up and with the most beautiful illustrations. A field guide to the world of Gwelf, which is inhabited by woodland animals and tree houses you will want to live in.


Self Exploration/Philosophy:
  • No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz: Explains the Internal Family Systems model of approaching the psyche, and its beautiful. Great stepping stone from pure sound psychology to almost spirituality, so so so interesting.
  • Radical Compassion by Tara Branch: Explains the R.A.I.N. method for bringing in more self compassion, slowing down and being kinder to our difficult parts and tough feelings.
  • There I Am by Ruthie Lindsey: A memoir, not philosophy, but what a story? And she’s currently a speaker/coach who has introduced me to tons of incredible books on shadow work, dealing with chronic pain, and self acceptance. Her newsletter is great.
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle: If you want some heavy and sometimes frustrating philosophy, here’s a book for you. Here's where I learned about the concept of ego. Oof. I can’t say if I really liked it, exactly, but it kick started my journey into exploring my deeper spiritual side. It can take a lot of work, and you might not agree with all of it, but it’s a fascinating read. Give the brain a workout.
  • More Than A Body by Lexie and Lindsay Kite: Are you also plagued by the constant bombardment of messaging that tells you your value is 100% dependent on being pretty, and to be pretty you must have this one exact body shape and face? Well, here’s a great book to make you so infuriated by what bullshit that is that you’ll learn to not give a hoot if you’re pretty.
  • Active Hope by Joanna Macy: Are you also losing your mind about how scary the climate crisis is? Here’s a book literally titled: How to face the mess we’re in without going crazy. Also highly recommend the companion podcast We Are the Great Turning.
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron: A series of essays musing on how to handle the downs in life. Deep thinking kind of stuff.
  • Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliot: Possibly my favorite book of this ilk… ever. I hesitate to call anything life changing because that's such an over used and personal statement, but it made everything click. It’s weird, but it makes so much sense to me. It totally fits with my “spiritual” world view: we are here to muck about and find out. I'd recommend first having a base knowledge of other spiritual philosophical concepts like ego, and definitely an understanding of the nervous system and how to use somatic techniques to integrate big life changes with the body. But I totally dare you to read it.
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza: If you, like me, love spiritual woo-woo but also deeply crave scientific proof of it all, Joe Dispenza is the cult leader for you. He’s a little too heavy on the promise of miracles, but his scientific studies on the effects of meditation are truly groundbreaking. He links quantum physics with neuroscience and manifestation in such compelling ways! For the even more sciency version of this book, I also recommend Becoming Supernatural. You can even get super into it and pay thousands of dollars for his retreats and such... if you want.
  • The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff: Are you a fan of Pooh and friends and curious to learn about Taoism (also spelled Daoism)? Well, here you go. It's sweet and easy and has some of the old illustrations.


Children’s Books: If you want some very pretty art to look at, I’ve got you.
  • Poko and the Drum by Matthew Forsythe
  • Anything illustrated by Trina Schart Hyman
  • Anything illustrated by Richard Scarry
  • Who is the Beast by Keith Baker
  • Wild by Emily Hughes
  • Like a Giant by Yvan Duque
  • The Sorcerer’s Apprentice by Nancy Willard illustrated by Lio and Diane Dillon
  • Dragon by Jodi Bergisma
  • Dinotopia by James Gurney
  • Stellaluna by Janell Cannon
  As I read more, which I’m always doing, I’ll have more to add. I’ve go SO MANY books on my to read shelf that I’m pumped for. I hope maybe one or two made you feel the itch to go pick up a book! Go forth and read!




   One final note, now is also an excellent time to put effort into supporting physical media. What do I mean by that? Make use of non-streaming services for consuming books, music, and movies and shows. This can be either with a library or by building your personal dragon hoard of shiny and beloved things. We are in an era fraught with the threat of media erasure, and the best way to protect things from being edited into oblivion or flat out burned is to make sure there are copies that exist in your own home, in your own hands, in libraries, in secret cupboards and locked chests and under floorboards if need be. And this is a really fun way to fight, is it not?
   Because of libraries, you don’t even have to spend money! Just using your library makes them more likely to stay open and able to provide free computer access, free college classes, free books, free movies, free music, free tutoring, free tax filing, etc. Yes, libraries really do all that and more.
   Are you more of an audiobook consumer? That’s not a problem. If you’re able, consider spending a day wandering the library, maybe get some ideas for future audio book rentals, and most importantly take books off the shelves and put them onto the put-backs cart. This seemingly annoying act actually helps libraries “numbers” and gives them proof they need funding. People are here! People are looking at books! Librarians are needed! You do also support them by using apps like Libby to rent audiobooks and movies and music!
   You can also consider, if financially able, joining the trend of acquiring trophies when you finish an audiobook you adored. Buy the most beautiful physical copy of the book and put it in a glass case to show off. When guests arrive, point to it like a tweed dressed British aristocrat who hunts for sport would point to the hapless giraffe in his entryway and say: “I listened to all 62 hours of this Brandon Sanderson novel, took me three whole days with no sleep to slay the beast, and I bet I could take out an intruder with that beautiful brick, what ho old chap. Anyone for tea?”
   Some studios have threatened to stop producing movies on disc altogether. This allows them to indefinitely charge you, month after month, to watch whatever they choose. And it creates an impassable paywall for anyone unable to afford streaming services. If there are not physical copies, they can’t be donated to a library for those less financially blessed to enjoy. Gross, right? And streaming services are constantly removing--and even modifying old movies to fit whatever narrative they wish to. But a hard copy in your home bypasses all this, and you can share it with friends! Watch it even when the internet is down! Skip the commercials! Oh, the old fashioned joy of it all.
   So please, in whatever way you are able, support physical media. For better or for worse, we currently live in a world where how we spend our money holds the most power. Choose to spend wisely, my friends. Buy yourself a book. With paper.


Till next time, hoping you are well and warm and enjoying a good book,
Lara Jean

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January 2025

2/3/2025

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Somewhere between immeasurable grief and just one pull up.

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   January was heavy, heavy, heavy. I have been unable to hold my grief. It has come spilling out of me in ugly, dysregulated bursts. It has shown up with numbness, the desperation to bury myself somewhere nothing can find me. Many tears. So much despair.
   I feel grief for the people who are afraid for their rights. I feel grief for the people who are so afraid of the world that they are taking away the uniqueness and autonomy of others. I feel grief at the state of the environment, the seemingly never ending calamities that we face that we ourselves have caused. I feel grief for the things I can’t do anything about, all the people and animals I can’t give a safe home to, all the hurts far beyond my reach. I feel grief that I put time and effort into finding a following on instagram, only to have that platform turn into a mess that feeds my creations to AI so that a computer can make art for me. I feel grief for the people we thought we could trust and admire being exposed as flawed and harmful and human. I feel grief that the organic produce I want but struggle to afford to buy comes in a plastic bag. I feel grief for the tiny ladybug that doesn’t know it’s invasive, didn’t come here on purpose or by choice, and didn’t know that trying to winter in my house would lead to its death. 
   I feel grief that no doubt many people would look at this list and scoff and say I’m too sensitive, too emotional, irrational. No person could really feel all that. What’s the point?
   It is beyond overwhelming.
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  I find myself drawing big fey creatures holding tiny vulnerable sprouts. They are tender and earthy, and they seem to whisper to the seedling “It will be okay, I’ve got you.” Oh how I want to shed my human skin and become something fey, something integrated with nature, something capable of flitting in and out of reality, going anywhere I want to go. Existing and doing no harm. A creature with magic in its touch. Magic that heals. Magic that renews. I would spend my days planting trees and dancing.
   …Possibly incessantly pinching and stealing the socks of those who hold great power and choose to use it for harm.
   How do I get just unhinged enough to start having rapturous visions, I wonder? I want an all knowing, truly all loving mystical god to come shimmying down a silver pole into my studio, blow me a kiss and a wink, bells, whistles, a dance number and a light show. They would tell me “I have a plan, I am in control, I am going to make it all fair and good and okay. I’ll make it so easy and obvious for you, you just keep doing you baby girl. I love you, you’re good, keep painting and don’t worry about a thing.”
   This god is Tyler Gaca in this vision, ideally.
   No matter how distraught I get, I wait and wait and it does not happen. The only one here is me. And oh do I feel small, small, small. I do not feel like a fey creature at all. I feel like the seedling, barely beginning, breakable at the slightest touch. How do I make change when I am so very, very small?
   When I’m not having a meltdown, I reach for the light. I open my little leaves to older and wiser voices.
   “No one has ever healed through shame.”
   I want to give in to the immense guilt and shame I feel at just… being a human. Being a part of the problem. But that does not in any way motivate me to unfuck myself. If I believe humans are inherently evil and The Problem, then I get to do nothing, give up, stay lazy. Wilt. Wither. Rot.
   Just as hurt people will hurt people, so too will healed people heal other people, or so I have been told. Doing work to heal yourself serves everyone, the whole. And with this quote taped on every wall so I see it over and over, written on my forehead, tattooed on my eyeballs, I pick up one tiny thing. One small thing. And I do my best to give it compassion, I give it love.
   Even when the only tiny little thing I feel able to hold right now is just me.


   Things that I have been reading and listening to that are helping me learn, cope, and hope:
  • Joanna Macy, We are the Great Turning podcast. I don’t have words for the experience of listening to this podcast. Joanna Macy is an environmental activist, author of Active Hope, How to Face the Mess We’re in Without Going Crazy, which is on its way to me from Thrift Books and I cannot wait to read. (Spotify link)
  • Ruthie Lindsey, somatic therapist. She is such a beacon of light and joy and compassion. Her recent interview here is one of my favorites: (Spotify link)
  • I’m learning about shadow work, owning up to my complicated and often dark inner world. Learning to see the dark parts but not hate them or shame them. Shadow work was first named by Carl Jung, and many excellent resources now exist for learning more!
  • No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz. Learning about Internal Family Systems (think inner child, only expanded!)  made me feel so much less crazy, so much hope. Mapping and getting to know my parts in search of that Self, that central core of us all that is compassionate and curious… both fascinating and healing.
  • Radical Compassion by Tara Branch. R.A.I.N. is a really important practice that I have yet to be able to do well, but it’s a practice. You get better as you go along. (I hope!)
  • Therapy. With a somatic therapist. I know I am beyond lucky to have this resource. Learning how to get into my body and out of my head, breathing tools. Learning how to feel my feelings instead of burying them, but also not letting them drown me. A safe space to be heard, support when I just can’t. Invaluable. A privilege I will never take for granted.
  • Journaling. So much journaling.
  • Writing, reading fiction. Allowing myself escapism. Taking reality and relief in turns. I still have plans to write my stories, but winter has forced me into a little hibernation break. A natural cycle I’m trying to convince my brain to embrace instead of judge and shame. (Capitalist productivity expectations, am I right?) My favorite fun read so far this year has HIGHLY unexpectedly been Leech by Hiron Ennes. DON’T TELL ME HOW IT ENDS I’m about halfway through. I’m hooked!!! (Fair warning, not a cozy book, per se. Mild horror and weird sci fi, but it's just so good!) (If you want a cozy read that will delight and comfort, stay tuned, I'll share some of my favorites soon.)
  • Music by Thomas J. Curran
   And, of course, my art. When I grow too weary from looking at the bad in the world, I get to turn away. None of us can live in that space all the time. We all require rest. We all have different thresholds, different capacities. I get to escape into a land of green creatures nurturing little seeds. A world of wild eyes poking out of a thicket. Gentle giants who have lived centuries, seen so many cycles of death and rebirth through the seasons, they know it will be alright. In my world, all the wonderful wild uniqueness is allowed to be itself, its imperfect and strange and whimsical whole self. Be it hairy, delicate, squat, or stony. In a month I’ve already done 3 paintings, a 4th nearly finished! NONE of it was on my to do lists for book completion. But it was needed.
   I’m learning to do pull ups. I can’t even do one. How am I supposed to scale the walls and save the distressed if I can’t do a pull up??? So… I’m trying. I have pull up bands. I strain and grunt and shout “YES I CAN!” to my cats who lazily stare at me from the sunshine on the floor, wondering what their nutty darling human is up to now.  I trust that even though I can’t yet, not yet, in time, by inches, bit by bit, some day, I will. (I follow Nourish Move Love for free at home workouts, because seriously, who the heck has enough self confidence and motivation to work out in public?)

   If you found yourself asking "What could possibly be the point of feeling all that grief?" to you I would gently say: If you're not feeling grief, then you aren't seeing the hurt we are causing. The point is that if we don't see, we can't admit we need to change. We stay numb, we keep performing actions and repeating cycles that hurt others. We have to feel it to see the harm we do. And if we don't find ways to then comfort that grief, we can never become motivated to do something about the things that make us so immeasurably sad. The grief is part of the process. A stepping stone to healing and growing. I think it is not ridiculous at all to be an emotional wreck over the bad in the world. I think maybe my grief is going to lead me to places where I make a difference. For me and for you.

   I hope you are well. I hope you are warm. I hope you are supported and safe and open to trying to do the work of facing the shadows, facing your own shadow, and turning back to the light over and over and over again.
    And I dare to hope that maybe my words and my art can help.
 Lara Jean
Picture
   P.S. In case anyone is unfamiliar with what’s happened with Instagram and Facebook, they state openly in their user agreement that they have full rights to whatever you post, and they use any images/videos/words posted to train AI. That means they have full rights to my art if I share it there, and they will feed it to AI so that a machine can make copies. This is why most creators are trying to migrate to other apps, and encourage people to do things like sign up for newsletters. I am now pushing my following to Bluesky, tumblr, Cara, and my newsletter.
   If you're reading this, THANK YOU for taking the time not only to support me by being here, but also for reading this far! You’re amazing. Your effort and interest and care are so needed and so valuable. Keep it up.

If you are wanting prints of any of the new art I've shared in this blog, you can find all of them on my Etsy shop! US shipping is free. I have my kids books in stock there as well. Your support helps me make more art!

Also a reminder that if you want letters just like this one delivered right to your email, you can subscribe to my newsletter. Just go to my Commissions page!


You can find links to ALL my little internet homes right here!
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A Bit About Me Part III

6/12/2024

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Short and snappy:

I live in Tennessee! Moved here two years ago now! It's been an adventure! I love caves and hate ticks.

I am back to full time artist! I also am certified to do reiki and occasionally do that, when anyone is interested. I'm pushing for being a proper published author/illustrator.

Married to my high-school sweetheart, we have two fur babies, Tybalt the beautiful idiot and Mimsy the demonic warrior princess (cats).

I still have anxiety and the sads sometimes, but this crazy thing happens and as you get older you grow and get marginally better at dealing with them. Also life is cyclical and there are always ups and downs. Grateful to currently be in an up!

Hobbies are still writing, reading, gaming, drawing, film/tv, podcasts, hiking, swimming, gardening, and now weight lifting. We change, but we also stay the same.

That's it! Please subscribe to my newsletter to stay on top of where I'm at and what I'm up to, because I know nobody visits my website regularly and social media has become a monstrosity.
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Project Complete

6/12/2024

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or
The Strange Business of Finishing a Project Instead of Abandoning It

   How strange to be done. How strange to finish a thing and leave it behind, not giving up, not over too soon, not to abandon. But to truly complete, and so to move on.

   Most things in life are left unfinished. A thousand moments and relationships and situations are left to drift, cobwebs in the air we brush against when we move. In younger days I felt such shame over every project I could not finish. Now I am older and I ask myself, is this really a failing? Or a part of the process, one to embrace, our duty simply to remember as we pull the sticky threads from our eyelashes. The things we didn’t say, the projects we never followed through on, the intentions we set and slowly could not keep to.

   Sometimes it is because we learn a thing is not for us, and to abandon is to honor yourself. These hanging threads we celebrate. We twist them into beautiful braids and hang shining beaded lessons at their ends, rattling in our memory to remind us to honor, honor, honor YOUR self. You are a unique concoction of yes and no, for me and not for me. How fascinating to discover each ingredient one by one! I have learned many times over what I do not want by trying it. I recommend it. With a dash of humor whenever possible.

   And in these rare circumstances where you are able to carry your little egg all the way to the finish line and see it burst open and take flight, alive! Alive at last! Oh! It takes such practice to learn pride. There is an emptiness that wants to creep in. We want to immediately criticize, reflect on the flaws, and cry over how wanting it is.

   After many years of this feeling swallowing me whole, I finally stumbled across this freeing truth: To do a thing is to LEARN. Completed or not. The act of doing is practice, whether you do for the first time or the last, when the last may be none of us get to know. Any time you practice, you grow, you get better. So by the end of every project, you will be able to look back and say, “Well, but now I could do it so much better!” This is not a reason to look negatively and harshly at the thing you made when you were younger, by minutes, hours, days, or years. This is an opportunity to celebrate. You’ve GROWN. What a beautiful thing.

   As my philosopher within raises a hand, I must ask myself, are we ever done? Until the day we sleep and do not wake, are we ever finished? And even then, even then, who knows? Perhaps we go on and on, eternally trying and growing. There is ever so much out there.

   Why not?


   Yesterday morning I finished my very last round of edits on my first completed chapter novel. It's not actually done. There will be more to do when I am ready to publish it. But for now I have to let it sit and see if an agent/publisher bites, or if I’m self publishing. I also released my second self published kid’s book this spring, and I’m near wrapping up illustrations for a client’s book. I have become one of those people who LOVES checking things off??? I add things that weren’t on my To Do list if I do them just to add an extra thing I get to cross off. ACCOMPLISHMENT.
  
   Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little poetic essay. If you want to read the first chapter of my book Little Faun, a sample is available here on my website. I hope so very much to get to share it with the world soon.


   Until then, I’ll be off finishing current projects and starting new ones!

Lara Jean


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A Bit About Me! Part II 

7/19/2021

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My last blog entry was October of last year, which is ironic because that was literally a few weeks before I made some very drastic changes to my life. The blog was an introduction to myself and my life, and then a week after it I made that information very inaccurate.

So let's try this again! (And let's not have previous events be the trend. Please.)

Hi! My name is Lara, I'm a writer and an illustrator. Currently I live in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I work for a sign making company that provides "wayfinding" for offices/hospitals/airports/etc. (The Pentagon and Netflix, to namedrop.)  I do customer service, production floor assistance, and I'm being trained to do technical drawings! It's a heckin nice gig, I'm very lucky. As my friend would say, it's a unicorn job.

When I'm not doing that, yes, I am still an illustrator and a writer! I'm unable to be a full time artist for now, but I still squeeze it in whenever I can. I've self published one book, Be Kind to Me, which you can get from my Etsy shop! I'm constantly jotting down new ideas and make time for them wherever I can.

I'm excessively proud to say that I'm a Self Sufficient One Woman Show these days. About damn time. Couldn't have gotten here without overwhelming support from friends, family, and... you guys! (One Woman Show is kind of a lie, nothing can survive in isolation. But you get what I mean.)

Things are pretty great right now! I mentioned in my last (first) blog that I've battled anxiety and PMDD, and I seem to have managed to discover the root cause of both and in one fell swoop I pulled that out last October. It was a long time coming and so much self examination and WORK went into hitting that point, but once I realized what I had to do there was no going back.

It's been a battle and a journey and a joyride since then, I can't express my amazement and gratitude. This is a state of being that I never thought I'd get to experience, and every day is beautiful because of the weights I've shed. Even the days that are hard, challenging, borderline bad, it never feels as bad as it used to.

I want to take a moment to sincerely thank everyone who commissioned me last fall. I had to leave my home, my life, I was new to supporting myself and I needed work, desperately. The commissions bridged the gap between jobs. SO much gratitude. I will try not to be disgustingly mushy. THANK YOU. I never cease to be amazed by the overwhelming support I receive when I need it. As someone constantly afraid I'm not worthy of things, it's a lot to fit into my heart. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Enough with the sappy stuff though.

Things that are new in relation to lara jean doodles:
​
Commission prices are going up! THANK YOU so much for all the interest in and support of my work. I never want to make myself inaccessible to my lovely supporters, and I'm doing my best to always keep prices low. However I've realized recently that I was undercharging for the amount of time and energy I was putting into commissions (I wasn't even making $10 an hour on them anymore lol), and it had been more than 5 years since I last revisited what I charge. It was time. My prints and mugs are still the same price! And as always, if you want something custom, something mini, please let me know and I'll be happy to work with you and your budget. My standard commission prices are all listed for color images, but I can do black and white for less! There's always an option, so let's talk. I want to make something for you!
​
That said, I also now work a full time day job. Thankfully I work with excellent people at a job that suits me, so I'm not drained to zombie level functionality by the time I get home, however it takes up most of my day most of my week. This severely hampers how much commission work I can take on and how fast I can get it done. I'm always willing to put you onto the waitlist, and I do my best to keep you in the loop about where I'm at in the queue and share updates as your project progresses. Again, don't hesitate to get in touch! Let's talk!
​
If you're thinking about getting a portrait for a holiday gift (I can't believe I'm saying this) you might want to ask for it... NOW. My slots at holiday time fill up SO FAST and if I want to guarantee shipping in time, it's never too early.
​
You know what to do: go to my contact page and send me an email!
​
I'm sending out a lot of sunshiny vibes to you all,

Lara Jean
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A Bit About Me!

10/2/2020

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One of my friends featured me as an artist for her art classes, and so I wrote up some facts about myself for her. I've decided to expand on that list a little and share it here, in case any of you are curious about who I am and what I like and where I've been! (I reserve the right to change my mind about my favorites in the future lol)

A Bit About My Life:
  • I was born February 27th 1992, I live in Middleville, Michigan, and I've been a professional artist since 2014, full time as a self employed illustrator for 1 year.
  • I was born in Royal Oak, Michigan, lived in a tiny farm town called Almont through most of gradeschool, and moved to Grand Rapids for college, so I've lived in Michigan my whole life.
  • I've also been drawing my whole life! My parents are both architects so they encouraged me to be artistic. I started using watercolors in 2012.
  • I decided I wanted to be a Professional Artist when I grew up after discovering the Art of Amy Brown in 2012.
  • I went to school for art and got a Major in Studio Art and Minor in Art History. It was not an art school, so I took a wide variety of classes, from sculpting to oil painting to business classes.
  • Though I made books for fun as a little kid I didn't realize I wanted to be an illustrator and a writer until after I'd graduated college. It was 2018 when I started writing books again.
  • Most of my work is in gouache, which I started painting with in 2017. I also use a digital program called Procreate which is for the iPad. (I usually use just the HB Pencil brush with the size limit increased, it's one of the default included brushes.)
  • I've struggled with anxiety and PMDD for most of my life, and though they cause frequent setbacks I'm proud to say I've managed to do quite a lot in spite of them, and even learned to lessen their influence.

    ​Things I Like:
  • My favorite games are Golden Sun, Final Fantasy Tactics Advanced, Animal Crossing and Pokemon!
  • My favorite books are Nimona by Noelle Stevenson, the Hobbit by JRR Tolkien, Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell, the Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett, Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C Wrende, House of Many Ways by Diana Wynne Jones, A Closed and Common Orbit by Becky Chambers, Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen, Gods and Monsters by Lani Taylor, Shiver by Stephanie Stiefvater, Mystic and Rider by Sharon Shinn, and MANY others.
  • My favorite music is chillhop and video game soundtracks for drawing and writing; the National, Jack Garratt, Gregory Alan Isakov, Hozier, Elton John, Florence and the Machine, and Cat Stevens for when I have to do house cleaning and driving and for playing a little too loudly.
  • Some of my favorite artists: Noelle Stevenson, Taryn Night, Larry MacDougall, Justin Donaldson, Hayao Miyazaki, Jung Chen, Heikala, (all of these artists are still living and can be found on instagram! However the next three are no longer living:) Susan Seddon Boulet, John William Waterhouse, Trina Schart Hyman, Beatrix Potter
  • Some of my favorite movies: Anything from Studio Ghibli, especially Spirited Away, Ponyo, My Neighbor Totoro, Castle in the Sky, Howl's Moving Castle, Whisper of the Heart, Princess Mononoke, and the Cat Returns. BBC's Persuasion 2007, Treasure Planet, Song of the Sea, Pride and Prejudice both the BBC series and the 2005 version, Interstellar, Over the Garden Wall, Box Trolls, Brave, Pretty in Pink, The Brothers Bloom, and lots of others!!!
  • Some of my favorite TV shows: Firefly, Steven Universe, Gilmore Girls, Brooklyn 99, Community, The Good Place, Parks and Rec, Castle, Star Trek the Next Generation (and all the others I've seen everything but the new CBS series), Netflix SheRa, Avatar the Last Airbender, Poldark, and probably others but these are the ones coming to mind!
  • My other hobbies: gardening, cooking, pestering my cat, hanging out with trees, reading, swimming, biking, yoga, writing!
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Welcome!

10/2/2020

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Hello everyone!
​I'm starting a blog!
I have a very specific topic I want to address soon, and that is... self publishing! I've been learning a lot and I want to share some of what I've learned. I'm still in that process, but soon I'll have some solid stuff I can tell you about! I can't wait!
I often enjoy writing about things that I like, things that insprie me, and things that I hope will help you and maybe you can learn something from! So keep an eye out and soon I'll have some fun and hopefully educational content for you folks.
I hope eveyone is staying well and sane and if you're in the US you're registered to vote,
Be in touch soon!
​Lara
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    I'm Lara, illustrator and writer behind Lara Jean Doodles!

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